“Ayusin ko muna sarili/buhay ko”

For once in my life, the line “Ayusin ko muna sarili ko” or “Ayusin ko muna buhay ko” made sense. I’ve been hearing these words way back and I really don’t understand a thing. I don’t know whether it’s just an excuse or it really means anything. All I know is that those lines made people cry, broke their hearts and even relationships.

My ex said it to me once “Ayusin ko muna sarili ko” and I never understood what she meant up until now. I used to tell her “Bakit? Magulo ba buhay mo ngayon?” and she didn’t know what to reply. Now I understand…sorry about that..ahihi

Two of my friends from music said the same thing to their girlfriends and I asked them what do they mean by that.

At first, it just doesn’t make sense until one time, my friend said “Kuya Otep! Musta? May girlfriend ka na noh?” and I said that it’s not the right time to have one. She asked why and the words just came out. “Ayusin ko muna sarili ko”…

But, what does it really mean? What’s bothering them that they said these words?

Studies - This can be quite stressing specially if you’re a goal oriented person. For mediocre people, this is not an obstacle in a relationship but for people who wants the best results in what they do, this is their mortal enemy. In my experience, it also ruins your time with friends to play video games. It makes hanging out, occasional. It makes you miss being a bum…but, the truth is, you love the stress. You love seeing the good results from your hard work. You see yourself 5 years from now being successful…too bad, you see it with or without that person you’re in a relationship with that’s complaining that you don’t have time for her/him. Then you say the magical “Ayusin…” shiz because after you’ve reached your goals, you can be with them already. They don’t understand these things so you better explain it well…

Freedom from obligations and commitments - Have you experienced being with your friends then you receive a text asking “WER N U? SUNDO MO N ME” then you’re like…”damn”…? Yeah, I know how that feels. It’s like, your time is handled by someone else that wants to be with you but when you’re together all they do is complain, whine and demand about things. When you feel like you’re pressured about things, you tell them about it and they’re like “Ah so nasasakal ka na? Ganun ba yun? So pressure nako para sayo? Ganun?”…So you tell them the magical words and they’re like “Bakit? May iba ka na ba?!”….And so, while they’re crying to their friends and tell them what you said, their friends will say “Bakit? Sira ba siya? Gagu pala siya, kapal ng mukha niya”…Their friends do their job well being biased.

Space - It’s a shorter word for soul searching. It’s like when you’re stressed and it’s like you’re carrying the whole world upon your shoulders and the one that’s suffering is that person you’re in a relationship with, and you’re worried because the things that’s bothering you is taking up time that you don’t have time for that special person? Yeah…it’s called space. So, for the friends of the person you’re in a relationship with, please don’t say “Ano siya? Astronaut?” not until you’ve experienced being pressured and bombarded with a lot of work…bitches…

Other girls/boys - Have you experienced being in a relationship but you can’t help staring at someone good looking and then asking yourself, “what if I was in a relationship with that good looking person?”, so, have you? Sometimes, you just can’t stick to one. So, your conscience triggers you to break up with them. So, I guess, breaking up is better than cheating.

Some may ask “Can’t you do that even if we’re together?”, well, there’s no answer to that. It’s either you help them with their problem or be a burden.

@9 months ago with 2 notes